The only good politician is one who has just been voted out of office.

An honest politician is like a dinosaur...you'd have to dig up a lot of dirt before you found one.

If a politician tells the truth, you can bet it was a slip of the tongue.

If crime doesn't pay, why do so many politicians seek re-election.

If honesty is the best policy, there would be fewer political speeches.

After a candidate for political office gives you his name, he feels like his obligation to tell the truth has ended.

The campaign trail gives candidates a chance to see who's the best liar.

A politician's biggest challenge is to decide who wants to hear what and when.

Politicians who are re-elected should be referred to as repeat offenders.

Your vote counts. In some elections, it may even be counted twice.

You know your vote really counts when somebody tries to buy it.

A political party is a one-sided celebration.

Be careful who you vote for. The dang fool just might get himself elected.

A politician dodging an issue reminds me of a pesky fly...he won't stay in one place long enough for you to swat him.

Most politicians are self-made men...and that's a good thing because God probably doesn't want any credit for the finished product.

If the founding fathers could see their creation now, they might be inclined to ask for a paternity test.

I never met a politician that I'd trust to balance my check book.

I think all politicians suffer from Alzheimer's disease. Once elected, it seems they forget everything they said as candidates.

I never met a candidate who ran out of promises, but I know a lot of elected officials who run out on them.

Picking a politician who deserves your vote is like betting on a long-shot in a horse race.